I had always thought dating apps were for people who only wanted to hook up, and that wasn’t what I was looking for. My thinking was that I’m not going to meet anyone that is driven and has good morals online. Besides, I was working crazy hours and had no time to go out on dates anyway. But over a few glasses of wine one night, my friend convinced me that I needed to meet someone and go out, so I signed up for Bumble.
I was on it for a month before I met James. A big part of the reason that I swiped his profile was because we had so many friends in common. I thought he was attractive, obviously, and I could also tell from his pictures he loved to travel, which is something I love too. It was especially nice to have the chance to do a little more digging around with mutual friends before we started talking. I figured he had to be somewhat of a solid guy if we both had the same friends, right?
We started texting on a weekend and then he called me on the following Tuesday to ask me out for dinner. We ended up talking for 2 1/2 hours. My job is a little bit nuts, so I had to push our dinner off until the Monday after. That Thursday though, he texted me: “Hey, I know you can’t do dinner until Monday, but would you want to meet me for a drink at least after work tonight? I’ll come to your part of town so that you don’t have to worry about driving late. It can be quick, just a drink, but I would just love to meet you before Monday.
I don’t usually get nervous before dates because I just expect them to not work out. But this was different — I was actually excited about it. At the time, I lived in this condo that had gable fences, and when he picked me up, he said it was like a fairy tale. He was like, “You waved out of your window on the second story and then you came running out of this iron gate.” I just remember seeing him and being relieved that he actually looked like his pictures! And it just felt comfortable.
Our first few dates after that, we were spending three to four hours just talking. We talked about big stuff because we had dated a lot and were tired of games. On that first phone conversation, we both said, ‘This is either going to work or it’s not. And no hard feelings if it doesn’t, but I’m not going to stay with you to be comfortable.’
The proposal was a surprise. He told me we were going to dinner with some friends and we went walking on the beach before dinner. It was really pretty because there were only the trees and the ocean. At the end of the boardwalk, I saw something set up and I thought, Oh, this is someone’s engagement or an anniversary. I was trying to drag him toward the water so we didn’t interrupt anything, and meanwhile he was trying to drag me toward it! Finally, I was like, “This is for us, isn’t it?”